Open Letter to Mr Cold

Dear Mr Catarrh Cold,

Cold

Cold

It is with anger that I write you this letter…

First, I would like to clarify the premises upon which you base your assumption that I invited you!
-Me getting drenched by the rain on Monday was not my own doing or plan!
-Me sneezing on Tuesday and doing nothing about it does not insinuate -and should not be seen as a “welcome to my abode letter!
I might have left my door unguarded but its not a licence for you to move in!

Secondly, we both know this is not the first time you are visiting ,but hey, I am fed up of being your regular host…and you have abused and overstayed your welcome this time!

Yesterday, I heard everyone comment on how sweet the aroma coming from Mumie’s kitchen was, but I couldn’t comment- all I could do was sneeze. You know why? -your dirty-yucky-mucky luggage is blocking my nasal cavity!
I’m finding it hard to breath not to talk of perceiving aromas!

sneeeeeeezzzeee!!!

sneeeeeeezzzeee!!!

You’ve forced me to shoot sedative drugs down my throat with the hope that you will crawl out when I fall asleep.

Now the nurse says you are enjoying your new home so much you are building shields to make your abode impregnable to drugs-blast!
Haha! I laugh at you! I will surely find a way to evict you!

You are pushing me to the wall.
And seriously, I am tired of this drowsy feeling!
I want to be agile, awake, alive and active like the real me!

My boss needs me to be active at work.
I need to be active to complete the Writing 101 and Blogging 101 University courses!
My brain needs to be awake to complete the ‘My Daily Dairy’ series
I miss fellow bloggers and I think my friends & followers miss me too!
…and your presence is making that and many other things difficult!

I have decided to come public with this open letter; since you have refused to acknowledge nor respond to preceding pleas and admonitions,

And I hope that after you read this, you’ll quietly (& jejely) pack your things and leave!

Be forewarned that things are about to get very hot in here! And its not gonna be funny
… Now, this is not a threat, its just a sincere warning coming straight from the heart of an enraged landlord to an unwanted obstinate tenant!

*******
Your angry host
– Hardethaewoh

PS: I hope you didn’t take the ‘DEAR Mr Cold bla- bla… ‘ at the top seriously? You should know its just a formal letter salutation. Mr Cold, you are not in anyway dear to me!

.
.
.
Prince A. T. ™ ☺

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9 thoughts on “Open Letter to Mr Cold

  1. Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote a book on it or something.
    I think you could do with a few pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is magnificent blog.
    A fantastic read. I will certainly be back.

    Like

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